Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
