Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
