32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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