We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
