Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
