I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
operation have a gay friend backfired
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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