Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background

  (1-704): View more from North Carolina

  hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god

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  (704): i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background (1-704): hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god http://tfl.nu/u7bb
  Replies (47) Good night (3016) Bad night (735)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.

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  (307): He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him. http://tfl.nu/54ly
  Replies (7) Good night (3762) Bad night (919)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.

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  (845): Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes. http://tfl.nu/h1wx
  Replies (2) Good night (2716) Bad night (845)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated

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  (520): It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated http://tfl.nu/m0r0
  Replies (4) Good night (1783) Bad night (656)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.

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  (403): while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see. http://tfl.nu/6p31
  Replies (4) Good night (2995) Bad night (994)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night

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  (617): Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night http://tfl.nu/g4dq
  Replies (9) Good night (1325) Bad night (2466)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.

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  (814): Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral. http://tfl.nu/7qfs
  Replies (5) Good night (1410) Bad night (800)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.

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  (337): You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left. http://tfl.nu/h7ai
  Replies (3) Good night (1575) Bad night (491)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together

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  (770): No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together http://tfl.nu/677k
  Replies (3) Good night (465) Bad night (1384)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.

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  (785): The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked. http://tfl.nu/4i2t
  Replies (6) Good night (1678) Bad night (463)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?

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  (770): Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier? http://tfl.nu/rucv
  Replies (9) Good night (1652) Bad night (493)
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  (+33): View more from France

  He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands

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  (+33): He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands http://tfl.nu/mwrj
  Replies (3) Good night (1065) Bad night (383)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.

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  (918): I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot. http://tfl.nu/9z19
  Replies (1) Good night (577) Bad night (230)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.

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  (859): I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace. http://tfl.nu/dz2e
  Replies (0) Good night (203) Bad night (280)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.

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  (229): For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later. http://tfl.nu/acsz
  Replies (7) Good night (554) Bad night (197)

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