margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.