Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.

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(313): Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra. http://tfl.nu/n0j6

Replies (5) Good night (2047) Bad night (887)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted

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(267): so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted http://tfl.nu/13lv

Replies (21) Good night (5188) Bad night (871)
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(305): View more from Florida

So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?

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(305): So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even? http://tfl.nu/nzpq

Replies (52) Good night (12479) Bad night (1046)
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(313): View more from Michigan

I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer

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(313): I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer http://tfl.nu/w7yv

Replies (8) Good night (2300) Bad night (998)
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(716): View more from New York

I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.

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(716): I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine. http://tfl.nu/zg3z

Replies (9) Good night (3882) Bad night (798)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.

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(502): Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it. http://tfl.nu/685d

Replies (2) Good night (1841) Bad night (930)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.

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(414): Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter. http://tfl.nu/rhw8

Replies (7) Good night (1351) Bad night (544)
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(425): View more from Washington

I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.

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(425): I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone. http://tfl.nu/vl0d

Replies (7) Good night (1768) Bad night (659)
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(574): View more from Indiana

I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.

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(574): I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help. http://tfl.nu/f05s

Replies (2) Good night (905) Bad night (486)
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(210): View more from Texas

I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.

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(210): I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted. http://tfl.nu/x81s

Replies (8) Good night (551) Bad night (1178)
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(281): View more from Texas

I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation

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(281): I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation http://tfl.nu/41s4

Replies (1) Good night (353) Bad night (442)
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(515): View more from Iowa

I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.

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(515): I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore. http://tfl.nu/112w

Replies (0) Good night (544) Bad night (436)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.

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(314): I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel. http://tfl.nu/ipcm

Replies (0) Good night (560) Bad night (414)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,

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(678): I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs, http://tfl.nu/4e6v

Replies (2) Good night (152) Bad night (311)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.

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(774): Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day. http://tfl.nu/82wq

Replies (0) Good night (786) Bad night (170)

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