Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
