dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
