dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
