Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize