I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol