Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I must be too annoying 4 u.

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  (810): I must be too annoying 4 u. http://tfl.nu/bqrs
  Replies (7) Good night (1093) Bad night (2555)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  Thats something to write home to mom about

  (305): View more from Florida

  Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her

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  (786): Thats something to write home to mom about (305): Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her http://tfl.nu/y6ih
  Replies (17) Good night (1893) Bad night (627)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.

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  (413): Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go. http://tfl.nu/wjr6
  Replies (18) Good night (684) Bad night (1866)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  You got my ass fired just for knowing you

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  thanks for the bacon

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  (479): You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment. (1-479): You got my ass fired just for knowing you (479): thanks for the bacon http://tfl.nu/zw0i
  Replies (19) Good night (5699) Bad night (1475)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.

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  (970): Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier. http://tfl.nu/o9ed
  Replies (19) Good night (9407) Bad night (1575)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.

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  (216): 6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever. http://tfl.nu/zd97
  Replies (7) Good night (6077) Bad night (928)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.

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  (410): I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming. http://tfl.nu/sdt5
  Replies (4) Good night (2333) Bad night (911)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.

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  (510): Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it. http://tfl.nu/z26i
  Replies (4) Good night (2407) Bad night (804)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now

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  (941): I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now http://tfl.nu/pfr6
  Replies (5) Good night (1401) Bad night (801)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day

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  (902): On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day http://tfl.nu/p5su
  Replies (4) Good night (1943) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  Solid. Can't put a price on good times

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You can and it's called a liver.

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  (386): Solid. Can't put a price on good times (978): You can and it's called a liver. http://tfl.nu/hzws
  Replies (3) Good night (1904) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm okay with that.

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  (215): This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something. (267): I'm okay with that. http://tfl.nu/qf21
  Replies (6) Good night (1070) Bad night (812)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future

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  (720): My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future http://tfl.nu/mos1
  Replies (4) Good night (702) Bad night (511)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"

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  (802): I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass" http://tfl.nu/qu0i
  Replies (5) Good night (397) Bad night (856)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.

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  (505): So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please. http://tfl.nu/kbhd
  Replies (1) Good night (305) Bad night (188)

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