Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that

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  (813): Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that <code></code> http://tfl.nu/dm03
  Replies (8) Good night (1883) Bad night (525)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.

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  (231): i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future. http://tfl.nu/hfoa
  Replies (1) Good night (966) Bad night (1311)
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  (650): View more from California

  Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm

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  (650): Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm http://tfl.nu/tho2
  Replies (19) Good night (1503) Bad night (751)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I really want to fuck my wifes sister.

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  (816): I really want to fuck my wifes sister. http://tfl.nu/nla0
  Replies (42) Good night (1131) Bad night (4410)
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  (619): View more from California

  Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.

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  (619): Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular. http://tfl.nu/9sri
  Replies (36) Good night (3868) Bad night (548)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  he shaved USA in his pubs

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  (806): he shaved USA in his pubs http://tfl.nu/vbz3
  Replies (20) Good night (1770) Bad night (3060)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?

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  (972): The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid? http://tfl.nu/xjdi
  Replies (15) Good night (703) Bad night (3330)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge

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  (704): I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge http://tfl.nu/naaa
  Replies (21) Good night (6847) Bad night (528)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  She even gives head with a lisp.

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  (407): She even gives head with a lisp. http://tfl.nu/76cl
  Replies (17) Good night (2419) Bad night (4738)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Now he's lighting his socks on fire

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  (920): Now he's lighting his socks on fire http://tfl.nu/p3kv
  Replies (9) Good night (2750) Bad night (1203)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.

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  (318): Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks. http://tfl.nu/1pi3
  Replies (5) Good night (2499) Bad night (870)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.

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  (202): Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes. http://tfl.nu/57eb
  Replies (50) Good night (2419) Bad night (5485)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."

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  (307): Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator." http://tfl.nu/nuq5
  Replies (3) Good night (392) Bad night (369)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating

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  (785): This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating http://tfl.nu/xcs8
  Replies (11) Good night (355) Bad night (669)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.

  (216): View more from Ohio

  It's a Jersey thing

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  (732): He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet. (216): It's a Jersey thing http://tfl.nu/jggk
  Replies (1) Good night (233) Bad night (450)

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