I need help removing her.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize