That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
