Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
