The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
