I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
