turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
