She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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