Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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