I am spending my child support on dildos
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
