My sheets look like a crime scene.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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