her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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