What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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