..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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