the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
