I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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