I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
