if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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