I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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