So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
