so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
