How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
