I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He? As in you personified your dick?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
