Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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