This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Randomize
