She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize