Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
