She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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