It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a hospital.. check
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize