Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
