This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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