Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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