ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
