Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
