no, he came in my armpit
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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