I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
