lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
