we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
