I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
