I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
