OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
