sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt