if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory