Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
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The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
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So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"