Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about

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  (773): i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about http://tfl.nu/411c
  Replies (24) Good night (1158) Bad night (756)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.

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  (330): Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy. http://tfl.nu/mi86
  Replies (85) Good night (2225) Bad night (6349)
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  (530): View more from California

  I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.

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  (530): I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store. http://tfl.nu/ogm6
  Replies (18) Good night (1367) Bad night (4139)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  And the cops told us we were all naked.

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  (305): And the cops told us we were all naked. http://tfl.nu/sk8w
  Replies (15) Good night (6787) Bad night (1229)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit

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  (703): rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit http://tfl.nu/mkks
  Replies (14) Good night (859) Bad night (3153)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water

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  (919): I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water http://tfl.nu/62v1
  Replies (2) Good night (556) Bad night (1722)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on

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  (616): Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on http://tfl.nu/xayw
  Replies (10) Good night (1438) Bad night (569)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.

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  (603): I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband. http://tfl.nu/f6ah
  Replies (5) Good night (561) Bad night (1673)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.

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  (215): it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target. http://tfl.nu/jyhf
  Replies (2) Good night (1168) Bad night (527)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.

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  (315): I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady. http://tfl.nu/u0md
  Replies (19) Good night (2311) Bad night (775)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.

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  (780): I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore. http://tfl.nu/qn6g
  Replies (27) Good night (606) Bad night (3614)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.

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  (423): I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings. http://tfl.nu/2rp0
  Replies (5) Good night (1645) Bad night (426)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie

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  (440): Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie http://tfl.nu/g1ng
  Replies (3) Good night (1058) Bad night (705)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.

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  (570): You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it. http://tfl.nu/ka5y
  Replies (1) Good night (426) Bad night (358)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.

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  (816): Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete. http://tfl.nu/agem
  Replies (0) Good night (160) Bad night (338)

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