I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
