Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
