so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
