Your tits are I can't wait for
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
