A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
