i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
