Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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