super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
